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Valentine’s Day “Don’ts”

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DON’T buy him the new Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue.
(He’ll buy it himself)

DON’T get her anything from Groupon. 

DON’T buy him books for a Kindle…if he doesn’t have a Kindle.

DON’T go with her to a chick flick.
(She might think you like it and expect you to always go with her.)

DON’T make him a video called “Sh*t You Say That Annoys Me.”

DON’T make her a response video
“Sh*t You Say That Makes Me Want To Pull A “Gingrich” and Leave You.”

DON’T take her to a restaurant and say
“You can order anything on the menu…
except for the lobster and filet mignon.”

DON’T say to her “Honey, why can’t you be more like Adele
and win lots of Grammy Awards?”

DON’T tell her you want to stay home and watch Jeremy Lin and the Knicks.

DON’T buy him Mets tickets. 

DON’T  tell her the truth that a woman named Siri
recommended the romantic restaurant.

DON’T suggest to her double-dating with George Clooney or Ryan Gosling.

DON’T buy her candy.
She’ll  accuse you of trying to get her fat.

DON”T tell him not to buy you anything..
Then get mad when he doesn’t.

DON’T take her to a restaurant that has the word “King,” “Queen” or “Castle” in the name.



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