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Tweets From Dick Cheney’s New Heart

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“I almost had a heart attack when I found out I was being relocated to Dick Cheney’s chest.”


“I’ve only been with him for a few hours but I already know why they call him “dick.”


“Why does he keep mumbling the words “weapons of mass destruction?”


“This Cheney guy looks familiar. Did he play an evil dude in a movie?”


“Just received an email from my fellow Democratic hearts asking me if I would take one for the team and in their words “stop working for a bit.” 


“At least  my manager made a great deal for me.  Besides a nice salary I’m also getting tons of Haliburton stock.”


“I’ll never grow  tired of those “Cheney got a heart, Bush gets a brain next” jokes.”


“He’s always watching Fox News. If only they made TV remotes for hearts.”



“I had a heart to heart talk with his old heart, who told me under any circumstances should I go hunting with him.”







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