Tweets From An Anonymous Real-Life Flesh-Eating Zombie/Cannibal Dude
|June 13, 2012||Posted by billyrob under pop culture||
#1 on my bucket list:
Be one of the few survivors of a plane crash.
On a desolate island.
Funny, I always thought Chinese people
would taste like Chinese food.
My doctor says I need to cut back on my salt intake,
which means I’ll have to start eating human flesh
with nothing on it.
Why are people walking around like they’ve
never heard of the Human Flesh Diet.
I JUST saw the author OF THE BOOK on Oprah’s show.
Someone just tweeted me that Oprah isn’t on TV anymore.
Maybe it was Larry King.
Someone just tweeted me that Larry King is not on TV anymore.
You have no right calling me gross and disgusting
for eating people
if you eat gross and disgusting Taco Bell.
It’s hard for a guy like me to meet women,
so I’ve decided to try Z-Date.
I’m suing TV’s the Walking Dead for using my life story
without my permission.
Thanks to all the bad publicity lately,
I’ve had to hire a PR person.
Damn, I can’t believe how much they charge!