Tweets From Abe Lincoln,
Star of the Hit Film Lincoln
(In Theatres Now)
|December 12, 2012||Posted by billyrob under pop culture||
You know why they didn’t make
a movie about George Washington?
Because no one gives a crap
about that damn cherry tree story.
I don’t take off work for my birthday…
so explain to me why the hell
the rest of the country does?
After everything I’ve done for this country,
how do they pay me back?
By putting my picture on the damn penny!!
The penny!!!! What an insult!!!”
Shout-out to Daniel Day-Lewis,
who, out of respect to me,
didn’t try and mimic my real-life squeaky girly voice.
Great news…my log cabin is being featured
in this month’s Log Cabin Digest.
Chicks dig my beard.
Don’t tell anyone but I used Wikipedia
as a source when I wrote
The Gettysburg Address.
Things to do today:
1. Buy milk
2. Free the slaves
3. Get a haircut
Going to the theatre tonight.
Should be a blast. (Too soon?)
Honest Abe, my ass
I will lie and cheat
all day long to get what I want.
Never made a dime from them.
Not a dime.
I knew I shouldn’t have hired
a lawyer who wasn’t Jewish.
Highlight of my career?
Although he should have taken my advice
and shelled out more money to make my film in 3D.