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Tweets From A 2-Year-Old Girl

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“I want to be a fire lady when I grow up
because you get to slide down a pole,
just like the one Mom has in her bedroom.”

 

“Mommy is screaming at Daddy because she doesn’t like
a lady that Daddy works with.
And now she’s packing her clothes.
Why didn’t she didn’t tell me she was going on vacation?”

 

“My dad told me that when he was growing up
he only had 6 channels on his TV.
I asked him why he didn’t just  get a different TV.”

 

“Who’s KONY?
Is he the man who owns KONY Island?”

 

“Last night I had a nightmare.
This man named Newt was chasing me.
He’s scary.  And creepy.”

 

“Mommy bought a pair of shoes
and told me not to tell Daddy.
What does “expensive” mean?

What does “murder” mean?”

 

“I remember the good old days…
when I didn’t have to share a room
with my baby brother
and gas was just $4 a gallon.”


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