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Things Batman Would Say…If He Were Jewish

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I’m the first Jewish superhero.
And the last.

 

The Joker eats my kishkas out.

 

I couldn’t believe how much a new utility belt costs,
so I had to schlepp all the way down to Orchard Street
to get a good price.

 

When I was growing up all my friends made fun of me
because I had a “Bat Mitzvah.”

 

“Oy, am I tired; I just spent 3 hours
chasing after the Penguin.
I could just plotz.”

 

Gotham City…FEH…I’m thinking of taking my Sadie and moving to Florida.

 

I hate the Batmobile.
It’s too complicated…
I never know which button to press.
And it draws such attention…
who needs it?

 

The Riddler is a disgrace to my people.
(That’s right, that schmuck is Jewish)

 

You know what Gotham City needs?
A good bagel place.
That sells nova, too.

 

There’s rumblings the Bat Cave may go condo.
Can you say “Insider Price?”

 

I don’t have GPS in the Batmobile.
Instead I bring my brother Mort with me wherever I go.
He knows all the best routes.

 


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