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The Worst Job Ever…For Men

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Guys, what is the worst thing your wife/girlfriend can ask you to do?
If you said “Can you hold my pocketbook while I go
to the ladies room?” that’s a good guess…
but it’s not what I’m thinking.
I’m thinking ”Can you go to the store and buy me
Tampons and Mini Pads?”  

Sure, it’s embarrassing for a guy to buy them, but that’s not my gripe. What annoys me is the endless combinations and permutations of these products. The brand is easy to spot…it’s the specific kind that’s beyond frustrating. For instance,there are:

Wingless, Winged, Maxi Pads, Mini Pads, Regular Absorbency,
Super Absorbency, Ultra Absorbency, Fragrance Free,
Scented, Sport, Cardboard Applicator, Plastic Applicator, Flushable, Biodegradable Applicator, Non-Applicator, Gentle Glide, Organic All-Cotton, Light Days.

(and remember, that’s just a partial list!)

So there I am standing in the aisle trying to find exactly what she wants:
“Let’s see…this one is Super Absorbent, but it’s Wingless…damn”
“This one has Wings (whatever they are) but it’s for Light Days.”
It’s like I’m on a game show.

The assignment wouldn’t be so bad if men could just pick up the correct product, head right to the register and pay.
How great would that be?

Despite what you might think I am not just a complainer…
I am a problem solver as well.
How about color coding them?
But not just color coding, but universal color coding, just in case this happens to me while I am in Australia or Cuba.
Oh, and the colors have to be basic ones, because men have no idea what magenta or mauve looks like.
(And, no, smartass, it should not just be  shades of red)

Here are a couple of examples:

Super Absorbency/Plastic Applicator/Fragrance Free=”BLUE”
Wingless Minipads / Light Days/Scented=”GREEN”

So, if this dream of mine came true, the task would be simple…making it less embarrassing and saving us guys time. The request would be simpler, as well:

Wife: “Oh, dear, I am not feeling well. Could you do me a big favor and go to the drug store and get me a pack of Tampons/BLUE.”
Husband: “Sure, dear, I would love to. I’ll be back in a jiffy.”

The End


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