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The Avengers: “Where Are They Now?” AND “First-Look At The Sequel”

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The Avengers: Where Are They Now?

 

Hulk:
Wife left him because, in her words
“His talking like a baby got old real quick.”
Has over 1-million followers on Twitter,
but ironically cannot tweet due to his super-sized fingers.

 

Iron Man:
Forced to file for bankruptcy protection, when his
“Iron Man Iron Pills” failed miserably.
Now spends most of his time on his charity, SHWIBS,
“Super Heroes With Irritable Bowel Syndrome.”

 

Captain America:
Sued by U.S. government for copyright infringement after
using the word “America” without  approval.
An unauthorized biography revealed
he never was Captain of anything…
except his High School Ping Pong Team.

 

Thor:
Rarely seen in public, as he gets violent every time
someone mistakes him for Fabio.
Also embarrassed that, unlike the Norse god with the same name,
he is terrified of thunder and lightning.

 

Black Widow:
Has had way too much plastic surgery and now looks
almost exactly like actress Scarlett Johansson.
Mostly known now for her frequent appearances on QVC
selling her popular line of Black Widow Lingerie.
For obvious reasons has not been married in years.

 

Nick Fury:
Lost some credibility when TMZ reported
he doesn’t really need an eye patch,
but wears one only as a fashion statement.
Embarrassed himself on national TV when when he
assaulted the judges of “Dancing With The Stars”
after being thrown off in week #1.
 


Already In The Works: The Avengers Sequel:

 


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