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Take Me To Your Leader

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Greetings Earthlings.
My name is not important.
Nor is the planet I am from.
Suffice to say we are light years
ahead of you in every possible way.

For example, our toasters have settings
you can only dream of.

But that’s enough bragging for now.

We hope this message finds you in good health.
Me, I have a cough I can’t seem to shake.

We have been monitoring your video transmissions
very carefully and think we have identified your superior race.
We are pretty sure they go by the name of “The Kardashians.”
In fact, considering how often they appear
on these transmissions, we are positive.

These Kardashians seem extremely powerful and intimidating.
And it seems like there are an awful lot of them.
Do they multiply faster than everyone else on your planet?

And one more question:
“Why are they only allowed to marry basketball players?”
Very curious.

For light years our the inhabitants of my planet
have come to believe that 

Earthlings’ thinking mechanisms
are housed in the butt region.
And the smarter the person the bigger the butt.
Now we are positive.

Thanks for your time, Earthlings.
I will be in touch again.
In the meantime, if anyone has a good remedy
to get rid of a cough, please send it my way.

We use Ricola cough drops and they never seem to work.

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