Posts Tagged by The Pope

Possible Reasons Why The Pope Really Resigned

pope

  Tired of being driven around in that ridiculous Pope-Mobile.   Lost a Super Bowl bet to Cee-Lo.   Moving to NYC to become The Pope of Greenwich Village.   His gift shop, Pope-Pourri, is finally taking off.   Inspired by Justin Timberlake’s Grammy performance to pursue a singing career.   Inspired by Katie Perry’s […] more

Random Friday: Featuring Romney’s Couch, The Wrong DNC, Crappy Jewelry And More

random97

    It was easy to get Bill Clinton to appear at the convention. All they had to say was “Do you want to be in Charlotte?” and he said “Yes.”   I think I was at the wrong convention. The D n C, right? So why were they talking about scraping uteruses?   An […] more


 

 

It was easy to get Bill Clinton to appear at the convention.
All they had to say was “Do you want to be in Charlotte?”
and he said “Yes.”

 

I think I was at the wrong convention.
The D n C, right?
So why were they talking about scraping uteruses?

 

An unidentified team of hackers
say they’ve stolen Mitt Romney’s tax returns
and will make them public unless his campaign
forks out $1 million in “ransom.”
Romney did them one better and sent them his couch,
which undoubtedly contains
much more than that in the cushions.

 

I got a ticket this week from one of those traffic cameras,
but not for going through a red light.
I still don’t understand how the camera saw
I was wearing white after Labor Day.

 

A Sri Lankan man
tried to steal a $14,000 diamond by swallowing it.
Authorities now wait until it emerges naturally.
And that, boys and girls, is the way you make crappy jewelry.

 

Pope Benedict XVI has been given a customized
electric car to drive around his summer residence in.
He does have one complaint, however:
The car has no jack to plug his iPod into.

 

Amy Poehler and Will Arnett have split
after 9 years of marriage.
And they seemed so happy just a few weeks ago
when me, my wife and daughter
followed them as they walked
in the West Village:
The photo evidence: