Posts Tagged by NY Knicks

Random Friday: Featuring Spiderman Overload, Gwyneth’s Rip-Off, The One Thing Katie Holmes Should Thank Tom Cruise For and More

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    Gwyneth Paltrow’s lifestyle website Goop  is selling what they claim is the perfect white T-shirt, for the low low price of just $90. Really? And why is the website called Goop? Because for 90 bucks goop is the last thing you want to get on your tee.   A hotel in Britain is […] more

Amar’e Stoudemire Sings: His New Album

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Tweets From The Fire Extinguisher Punched By Amar’e Stoudemire

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    “Man, and this was my dream job, especially because I got to see the players nude in the locker room.”   “Why is it everyone wants to know how Amar’e is,  but no one asks how I am doing?”   “My favorite Stones song is now “Shattered.”   “I never saw this coming. […] more

Mike D’antoni On Twitter

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    “Well, the good news is I will finally have time to organize my Pez dispenser collection.”   “Do you think it was because of my “non-New York” accent?”   “Do you think it was because of my 70’s moustache?”   “Let’s just say that if I resigned and didn’t quit, then Jennifer Aniston […] more

Jeremy Lin On Twitter/His Secret Account

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  “Frankly, I just don’t get it. People act as if they’ve never seen an Asian guy from Harvard come out of nowhere and, in the course of a week, tear up the NBA and become a national sensation.” “Every time someone says “Lin-sanity” I make $1.” “All of my dreams have come true…except one: […] more

Jeremy Lin: A Psychic Predicts His Future

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      April: While flying back to NYC,  the pilot of the Knicks charter flight passes out. Jeremy takes the controls and safely lands the plane on top of Madison Square Garden. To celebrate he takes the entire team out for ice cream. May: Jeremy adopts 2 rescue dogs. However, unlike most people, he […] more

Jeremy Lin = Lin-sanity

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    If you don’t know who Jeremy Lin is, here’s all you need to know: He graduated from Harvard. Lin is the first American player in the NBA to be of Chinese descent. He’s been bouncing around the league…until now, going  from unknown to phenom in 3 games. In his first 3 NBA starts […] more

People Are Writing Letters Again: Part 3

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Dear Mr. Barnes, How many times can I tell you: No receipt, no refund. Period. Fondly, Mr.Noble Dear Basic Cable, Enough with the cooking competition shows! I can’t even remember most of their names: “Top Chef,” “Cupcake Wars,”Borscht Battles, “Casserole Combat,”Stromboli Struggle.” Enough!! Pick one and get rid of the rest. This is not a […] more

Dear Mr. Barnes,

How many times can I tell you:
No receipt, no refund.
Period.

Fondly,
Mr.Noble


Dear Basic Cable,

Enough with the cooking competition shows!
I can’t even remember most of their names:
“Top Chef,” “Cupcake Wars,”Borscht Battles,
“Casserole Combat,”Stromboli Struggle.”
Enough!!
Pick one and get rid of the rest.
This is not a joke!

Thanks,
Me



Dear Kim, Kourtney and Khloe Kardashian,

Your embarrassing antics and overexposure have been
a public relations nightmare for me.

In the eyes of my 25 colleagues I am nothing but a joke.
And I thought the Klu Klux Klan gave me a bad name!!

Thanks For Nothing,
The Letter K


Dear Bert and Ernie ,

We’ve got a lot of complaints from our tenants lately concerning the loud noise coming from your apartment lately. Specifically, they say it sounds like someone being tickled. They also say it only happens when your friend Elmo is visiting. We don’t know what is going on and, frankly, we don’t want to know. Please make sure this does not happen again. As it is, we aren’t supposed to rent to puppets.

Regards,
Jim MacDonald/Managing Agent-Sesame Street


Dear Mr. Kellogg,

You think we are all stupid and don’t notice that every time we buy cereal the box gets smaller and smaller.
Stop.
Now.
Otherwise we plan to come to “Occupy: Battle Creek, Michigan.”

Signed,
Everyone Who Buys Cereal


Dear Human Resources Director,

As we stated in our previous letter, we truly believe we would all be assets to your company, if you’d just give us a chance. We all love Target and would love to work there in any capacity. (Not to mention how we can help you during your annual game vs. WalMart.)

Signed,
The NY Knicks