Posts Tagged by Newt Gingrich

Brain Freeze and Beyond: Mysteries of the Universe

      Scientists have figured out what causes brain freeze.* (Talk about a lock for a Nobel Prize) Now that that’s done, what are they working on next? Why is it the closer you get to home, the more you have to pee?   Why are there so many fat people at Disney theme […] more

Sets of 3- Part 3

Fred Flintstone Makeover: 1. Lose the “Onesie”…replace with pants and shirt. 2. New Shoes 3. Shave   Bugs Bunny Makeover: 1. Pants and shirt. 2. New Shoes 3. Ear reduction surgery   Breaking Down The Song “One” Written By Harry Nillson 1. One: The loneliest number that you’ll ever do 2. Two: Can be as […] more

Random Friday

Facebook went public this week… Rather fitting, considering they’ve already made all of our information public. I’m surprised that Newt Gingrich is still in the race. Normally, when the prognosis is bad he bails. Donald Trump says he’s thinking about opening an upscale cemetery in New Jersey. As any good businessman like Trump knows you […] more

Even More Letters

  Dear Mr. Brady, Hey, how bout we bet on the game. We win and I get to sleep with your wife once. You win and you get to sleep with my wife 30 times. Sound fair? Let me know if you are in. Thanks, Mr. E. Manning Dear Mr. Gingrich, Do us a favor […] more

The Latest 2012 Presidential Campaign Posters

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Newt Gingrich Tweets From The Golden Globes

“A perfect example of why we need stronger immigration policies: Ricky Gervais.” “Why is Joey from “Friends” there?” “Why did Joey from “Friends” win?” “Just counted…there are 16 woman there I would leave my wife for.” “Make that 17…if that Spanish woman from “Modern Family” is here legally.” “If those women who won for “The […] more

Comparing The Presidential Candidates


Celebrity New Year’s Resolutions

  Kim Kardashian: “Meet and date Katie Perry.” (Hey, her name starts with a “K”. Plus, think of the ratings) Katie Perry: “Stay as far away from Kim Kardashian as possible.” Newt Gingrich:  “Stay with my wife, even if she gets cancer. Maybe.” Tim Tebow:  “I say it every year, but hopefully in 2012 I […] more

The Worst of 2011: The First Annual Testy Awards*

    Worst Made-For-TV Wedding: Kim Kardashian and Kris Whats-His-Name Worst Use Of A Condiment: The Pepper Spraying of  “Occupy” Demonstraters Worst Doctor If You Need Someone To Come To Your Home To Administer Propofol: Dr. Conrad Murray Worst Reason To Be Against Same-Sex Marriage: “It’s a threat to the sanctity of marriage.” Worst Example […] more

Random Friday

  If there’s a private club and two of its members are named “Newt” and “Mitt,” I’m POSITIVE I wouldn’t be allowed in. And that’s okay, because I wouldn’t want to. In Case You’re Not That Good At Math: Tomorrow is the second day of the rest of your life. It seems like every time […] more