Posts Tagged by Mitt Romney

Overheard at President Obama’s
Inauguration 2013

“I get the feeling there’s something going on between the President and Beyonce.”   “I get the feeling there’s something going on between Bill Clinton and Beyonce and Kelly Clarkson.”   “I wrote a poem about the poet. It’s called You Bore Me.”   “Great news… Jodi Foster was supposed to speak… but had to […] more

The Viagra Pop-Up Book And More Of The Best Books Of 2012

  The I.N.O.T.T. Best Books of 2012:   The Viagra Pop-Up Book   Making Origami Using Unused Jets Tickets   The Jewish Fifty Shades of Grey: But For You 49.99   Mitt Romney’s 101 Hair Tips and Tax Shelters   Is That Woman Sitting Over There Really A Dude?… And Other Popular Family Bar Bets […] more

Random Friday: Featuring Obama And Mitt Hanging In The White House, David Wright And Twinkie Executives Cashing In And More

David Wright has accepted a 7-year, $122 million contract extension from the NY Mets, although now I’m hearing it might be off, as the whole thing was contingent on Fred Wilpon winning Powerball.   Not a single person was reported shot, stabbed or slashed in New York City on Monday, which means there were no […] more

Random Friday: Featuring Shellshocked Mitt, Lincoln vs. 007, Unlikely Animal Friends and More

  Two big movies open this weekend: There’s the one the Republicans made about Obama’s second term, Skyfall and the one about America’s 16th white president, Lincoln.   Insiders say Mitt Romney was “shellshocked” as he came to terms with his loss. Ironic, considering “shellshocked” is a military term and he’s never been in the […] more

Mitt Romney’s Uncensored Tweets From The Morning After

  Attention all bosses who threatened to fire their workers if I lost: Don’t do it!! Instead, let me do it.   Ann promised me a special surprise if I won. (wink, wink) Darn! And I wanted a new polo pony so bad.   I can’t believe I lost to a Muslim with no birth […] more

Don’t Just Sit There: Things To Do While Watching The Presidential Election Results

  Do pushups. Take your vitamins. This could be the last day you can afford to get sick. Literally.   Drinking Game For Non-Drinkers: Take a shot every time Fox News says something/anything that’s “Fair and Balanced.”   Bake something: How about a Mitt Romney cake: Extra vanilla frosting and white cake. Or a President […] more

Mitt Romney’s Hurricane Checklist

  Backup generator   Backup generator for the backup generator   Separate backup generator for the car elevator   Always have cash on hand so you don’t have to make a last-minute trip to Switzerland   Make sure all of your cars have gas (even the ones you barely drive)   Send all of your […] more

Random Friday: Featuring The Scream, The Donald And More

The only person who cares what Donald Trump has to say about politics is Donald Trump. Let me rephrase that: The only person who cares what Donald Trump has to say about ANYTHING is Donald Trump.   The election is so close that Tagg Romney plans to buy even more voting machine companies.   Lie […] more

Obama or Romney? Romney or Obama?: Profile Of The Average Undecided Voter

    Always confused about when to use “their,” “there” or “they’re.”   Is most likely related to Honey Boo Boo.   Believes our next President should rely more heavily on Siri.   Thinks the word “trillion” is made up. And funny.   Wants to know who’s side the candidates are on: Team Demi or […] more

Comparison: Sasha & Malia Obama vs. Tagg Romney

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