Posts Tagged by Katie Holmes

Recent Letters To And From Celebrities: Including Katie Holmes, Jeremy Lin, Batman, Mr. Met and More

Dear Salvation Army, Please find enclosed 300 pairs of shoes, all flats. I will not be needing them anymore. Thanks. Katie Holmes Dear Mr. Romney, Enclosed are the updated resumes you requested (again) reflecting changes (again) to your time at Bain Capital. Bob Stevens Bob Stevens Printing Emporium Dear Jeremy Lin, I would appreciate it […] more

The (Extremely) Unofficial Preview of the 2012 Summer Olympics In London

  They are still working out the kinks, but the plan is to have all races timed using Big Ben.   Due to security concerns, some events have already taken place. So, congratulations to the winners: Pippa Middleton, Keith Richards and Sporty Spice.   Because of the state of the world economy, all medals will […] more

Katie Holmes Joins Twitter??: Her First Tweets (Or Maybe Not)

  Follow me on Twitter. Don’t follow me in real life like those Scientology goons.   Man am I tired… Just spent the last hour jumping on the couch after finally filing for divorce.   Went to get ice cream with Suri. We both got cookies and cream cones just because Tom would only allow […] more

Random Friday: Featuring Spiderman Overload, Gwyneth’s Rip-Off, The One Thing Katie Holmes Should Thank Tom Cruise For and More

    Gwyneth Paltrow’s lifestyle website Goop  is selling what they claim is the perfect white T-shirt, for the low low price of just $90. Really? And why is the website called Goop? Because for 90 bucks goop is the last thing you want to get on your tee.   A hotel in Britain is […] more

How Katie Holmes Spent The 4th Of July

1.Checked her apartment for bugging devices.   2. Answered the phone 37 times. All hangups.   3. Watched Mission:Impossible to brush up on spying tactics.   4. Went to Redbox and returned Mission:Impossible and all of her other Tom Cruise DVDs.   5. Then to the library to return all of her L. Ron Hubbard […] more

Reasons Why July 5th Should Be A National Holiday

  I Propose That July 5th Be A National Holiday…   To honor the brave Americans who were injured yesterday in fireworks accidents.   To allow Americans stuck in traffic enough time to make it to work by July 6th.   To give the unemployed another day to feel good about themselves because everyone else […] more

Tweets From Suri Cruise

    I’m not surprised they are getting divorced. All my mom would do all day is yell at my dad for jumping on the couch.   My dad introduced me to John Travolta last week. Boy, those two really like each other.   What’s a “sham marriage?” Everyone keeps saying my parents have one. […] more