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Up-To-The-Minute (Approximately) Hurricane Sandy Updates For NYC

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Wall Street renamed Wish-We-Had-A-Wall Street.

 

Chris Christie has ordered the re-opening of all NJ McDonalds restaurants.

 

Donald Trump profiting from the storm. Raising rents on tenants who now have private swimming pools in their apartments.

 

Tragedy in Williamsburg, Brooklyn: Storm prevents the delivery of artisanal olives.

 

Attention all Con Ed Employees: Despite the weather, tomorrow’s Employee Picnic is still on. See you there.

 

Bad news for Mayor Bloomberg’s sign language interpreter: She’s out 2-3 weeks with a fractured wrist.

 

A movie is in the works based on the crane dangling over 57th Street. “The Crane Mutiny” will star Samuel L. Jackson (as required by law) and Sarah Jessica Parker

 

An extremely new survey finds, if forced to switch careers, 86% of New Yorkers would go into the tree removal business.

 

Most fatalities rumored to be TV news reporters who were worked to death.

 



 

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