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Signs Your Candidate Has No Chance Of Winning

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Has the endorsement of A-Rod.


Best known as the candidate who wants to investigate
why 5-Hour Energy Drinks only last him 4 hours.


Vows the first thing he’ll do when elected is to
“Change that hideous carpeting in my office.”


Not only does he constantly flip flop on the issues,
he actually wears flip flops while campaigning.


Bought tickets  to see Neil Diamond.
Performing on Election Day.
In Australia.


Spouse is activally campaigning…for his opponent.


Told the truth more than 2 times in a week.


Bumper sticker includes the phrase “I beg of you.”


Campaign manager’s last name is Lohan.


When asked why he is running, says
“Because I really, really enjoy kissing babies.”


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