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Rules for Snooki’s Book Signing

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Can you believe Snooki wrote a book?
No one can. And that includes Snooki.
And like a real author, she’ll be doing book signings
all across our great country.
If you plan to attend, there are many rules you MUST follow,
and I’m posting them to insure you don’t screw up this
once-in-a-lifetime opportunity.


You must be up to date with all of your vaccines…
including Hepatitis A, Hepatitis B, Influenza, HPV and Diptheria.
(No exceptions: This is a Health Department rule)


A team of psychiatrists will be on premises at all signings
in an attempt to get some insight into the mental state
of a person who attends a Snooki book signing


You cannot ask Snooki the following questions:
“How is it possible that you wrote a book, yet never read one?”
“”Are you kidding me?”
“What’s with your hair?”
“Do you think you should be allowed to have kids?”
“What is your talent?”


You are allowed to take one picture with Snooki.
(Unless it is determined that you have a better tan than her)


Speaking of tans, it is suggested you bring sunglasses, as the orange color
of Snooki’s skin can be extremely jarring at first, especially to young kids.


Bring ANY alcohol for Snooki and you go to the head of the line.


Do not get too close to Snooki,as the fumes from her hairspray could be lethal.


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