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Secretary of State Hillary Clinton dropped everything
this week and rushed to Charlotte, North Carolina
in an attempt to broker a peace deal
between Mariah Carey and Nicki Minaj.
She couldn’t get them to make up,
but I have an idea that will help the
two American Idol judges coexist in harmony:
Some good old American Midol.
Timing is everything: Jim Lehrer had no control over the Presidential Debate,
so to insure that won’t happen again,
the next one will be moderated by Minaj.
According to FactChecker.org,
the only sentence that was factual
during the Presidential Debate was
“I’m Jim Lehrer, please welcome President Obama and Senator Romney.”
Wednesday night’s debate between Barack Obama and Mitt Romney
generated 10.3 million tweets in 90 minutes.
Before you get too excited and
conclude it’s a sign people are finally
getting involved in the election process,
you should know that 90% of them were about Big Bird.
For the first time ever Facebook has
one-billion monthly active users.
You know what would be even more incredible?
If my parents could somehow
figure out how to log on to their accounts.
Rihanna and Chris Brown are back together.
The couple were seen together at Jay Z’s concert in Brooklyn.
People sitting near them said they looked happy,
but every time Chris raised his hand
to get the attention of a beer vendor, Rihanna flinched.
The NHL has cancelled the first two weeks
of the season as the player lockout continues.
Cue the crickets.
Headline Of The Week:
Fakers Use Wheelchairs to Dodge Airport Lines