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Some people believe the world will end on Saturday. I have a dilemma. Should I get my dry cleaning on Friday? Or should I wait to see what happens? Because if the world really does end, I won’t need that suit and two shirts.
A new report says by the year 2015 every possible name for a rock group will have been used. So kids, if I were you, I would stop practicing my guitar.
I think Raymour & Flanagan went into the wrong business. Their names and selling furniture just doesn’t seem to go together. I think they should have opened up a law practice instead.
I predict that by sometime next week every woman in America, except for Judge Judy, will come forward to claim they slept with Arnold Schwarzenegger. And all will be represented by Gloria Allred.
After the events of the past week, Arnold says he is putting his movie career on hold. Cheating on his wife is bad. But depriving a whole nation of his acting skills? That’s just criminal.
A non-profit advocacy group wants McDonalds to retire Ronald McDonald, saying their ads target children. The thing is, Ronald can’t retire because he’s worked at McDonalds his whole life and can barely pay his rent on what they pay him.