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Random Friday

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Some people believe the world will end on Saturday.
I have a dilemma.
Should I get my dry cleaning on Friday?
Or should I wait to see what happens?
Because if the world really does end,
I won’t need that suit and two shirts.

A new report says by the year 2015
every possible
name for a rock group
will have been used.
So kids, if I were you,
I would stop practicing my guitar.

I think Raymour & Flanagan
went into the wrong business.
Their names and
selling furniture
just doesn’t seem to go together.
I think they should have
opened up
a law practice instead.

I predict that by sometime next week
every woman in America, except for
Judge Judy, will come forward to claim
they slept with Arnold Schwarzenegger.
And all will be represented by Gloria Allred.

After the events of the past week,
Arnold says he is putting his movie career on hold.
Cheating on his wife is bad.
But depriving a whole nation
of his acting skills?
That’s just criminal.

A non-profit advocacy group wants McDonalds
to retire Ronald McDonald,
saying their ads target children.
The thing is, Ronald can’t retire
because he’s worked
at McDonalds his whole life and
can barely pay his rent on what they pay him.

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