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How To Get Rich Quick In 2 Easy Steps:
1. Learn the art of tattooing.
2. Get the NBA account.
Now Donald Trump wants to see
both Obama’s birth certificate AND
where it says you can run for a second term.
Donald Trump could be the first
U.S. President with his own reality show.
Which makes him the only Republican
who has anything to do with reality.
I was invited to the Royal Wedding!
Can’t wait to see my good friends
Queen Latifah and Prince
walk down the aisle.
The U.S. Postal Service has had
a work slowdown for 53 years,
in anticipation of a possible
Competition is great!
Verizon FIOS just offered me
my own private island in the Caribbean
and a free DVR for a year
if I drop Optimum and use their service.
Katie Couric is leaving CBS.
And Meredith Viera is exiting
her job on “Today.”
I just hope they thought this through…
and realize how hard it will be
in this economy to get another job.
(To apply for either job, go to Monster.com)