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Joan Rivers handcuffed herself to a shopping cart
at an L.A. Costco this week
because they refused to sell her raunchy new book.
The publicity stunt was an expensive one for Ms. Rivers,
because she bought the handcuffs at Costco,
where the cheapest box costs $850 for 200.
(Expect to see Rivers on QVC soon selling the rest)
ALF is back!!
An ALF movie is in the works.
However, like Lassie, the original ALF
will be replaced by a new, younger ALF.
A 15-year-old gamer collapsed and was rushed to the hospital
after playing Modern Warfare FOR 5 STRAIGHT DAYS!
As soon as he saw the heart monitor
he asked a nurse for a controller so he could play it.
Rihanna has been fired as spokesmodel for Nivea
because her party-girl image does not work
with the family-friendly brand.
The next day she was hired by Nivea’s main competitor, Drunks & Sluts Moisturizing Lotion.
You have to give the Kardashians credit.
We landed on Mars on Monday and
by Tuesday their show started airing
on the planet’s most popular channel.
Beck’s new album comes out in December
not as a CD, vinyl record, or digital files,
but as sheet music.
And the gold medal for pretentiousness goes to Beck!!!!
(Beck’s next venture: A restaurant with no food, just recipes)
If NBC’s ratings for the Olympics are so great,
why does it stop airing on Sunday?
Headlines Of The Week: (3-way tie)
“Cops: Man Butt-Dials 9-1-1 During Drug Deal”
“For Orthodox Jewish Men: Glasses That Blur Women”
“LEGO Found in Boy’s Nose … 3 Years Later”