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Something tells me pretty soon
the number of people protesting
at Occupy South Beach
will be dramatically more than those on Wall Street
You turn back the clock this Sunday,
which means an extra hour of sleep.
Or if you’re Kim Kardashian,
an extra hour to plan your next wedding.
Speaking of Kardashian, she says she would
never cash in on her marriage/divorce.
Except for her new perfume “72 Days”
The NYC Marathon is Sunday.
Maybe Herman Cain can run in that instead.
NJ Governor Chris Christie was going to run in the Marathon,
but Sunday just happens to also be
All-You-Can-Eat Pancake Day at IHOP.
A woman is suing Justin Bieber,
claiming he is the father of her child.
When the police asked her to describe the man,
she said all I remember is he had
one of those trendy “Bieber haircuts.”
This week The Los Angeles Dodgers became the first
professsional sports team
to hire a woman as their head trainer.
In an unrelated story, the Los Angeles Dodgers are
expected to have an unusually
high number of players claiming
to have groin injuries next season.
They should put Lindsay Lohan and her dad
in the same jail cell,
install a camera
the best reality show ever.