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Random Friday

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I set my alarm for 10am for the Royal Wedding.
I figured it would be over by then.

There are  only way two ways
I would have watched the Royal Wedding:
If Kate Middleton walked down
the aisle naked…or just topless.

Have you seen the show “Extreme Couponing?”
These people spend hours clipping coupons…
to pay a fraction of their supermarket purchases.
I have something that takes less time
and won’t cost you a dime:
It’s called  “stealing.”

Donald Trump is cashing in
on his antics of the last couple of weeks.
He’s set to star in the
Broadway show “American Idiot.”

Now Trump wants to see
lawyer Gloria Allred’s birth certificate,
because “white” and “blue”
are missing from her last name.

I finally figured out why there are
so many reality shows on TV
that revolve around singing.
It’s because there are a lot more
opportunities for singers these days,
now that most of the professional ones
are  judges on those shows.

Ben and Jerry’s has run out of
combinations and permutations
of ice creamflavors and plan to
shut their doors forever.

Update: Ben and Jerry’s just realized
they never made prune swirl
with macadamia nuts
and will remain open.

Katie Couric announced this week
she is leaving her job as
anchor of the CBS Evening News.
I was really surprised,
considering I thought she was still
on the Today show.

NBA Coach  Job Description:
Argue every call that doesn’t go your way
and keep arguing until the next “bad” call
…and on and on.  (I can do that!)

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