Random Friday: Featuring Obama And Mitt Hanging In The White House, David Wright And Twinkie Executives Cashing In And More

David Wright has accepted a 7-year, $122 million contract extension from the NY Mets, although now I’m hearing it might be off, as the whole thing was contingent on Fred Wilpon winning Powerball.   Not a single person was reported shot, stabbed or slashed in New York City on Monday, which means there were no […] more

Pass It Along: A Great Deal I Got From Amazon’s
Cyber-Monday Week

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DON’T Do These Things Today,
The Monday After The Thanksgiving Weekend

    DON’T weigh yourself. (Seriously, DON’T weigh yourself.)   DON’T tell everyone you see every detail of the horrific explosion you caused trying to fry a turkey.   DON’T go out to lunch and joke to the waiter “I’m in the mood for turkey!!”   DON’T brag about all of the great bargains you […] more

The Most Common
Thanksgiving-Related Injuries

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Random Friday: Featuring The End Of Twinkies, The President On Staten Island, Relief For Mets Fans and More

  President Obama traveled to Staten Island to see firsthand the devastation caused by Hurricane Sandy. Upon arrival, the President was quoted as saying “Are you kidding me? The toll was how much??”   Who says FEMA doesn’t have a sense of humor? They’ve declared Citi Field a disaster area and have promised each and […] more

It Must Be A Mistake!!: People Magazine Announces This Year’s “Sexiest Man Alive” (Channing Tatum Thought He Was A Lock)

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The Top-Secret Pickup Lines
Used By General Petraeus

  If you love a man in uniform… you’ll love him even more out of uniform.   Pssst…Want to see my 5th star?   How’d you like to make love to a man with the worst haircut you’ve ever seen?   Want to join me for an undercover mission… under my desk?   How’d you […] more

Going To The Movies? The Subtle Differences Between Abe Lincoln & James Bond (So You Don’t Go To The Wrong One By Mistake)

Random Friday: Featuring Shellshocked Mitt, Lincoln vs. 007, Unlikely Animal Friends and More

  Two big movies open this weekend: There’s the one the Republicans made about Obama’s second term, Skyfall and the one about America’s 16th white president, Lincoln.   Insiders say Mitt Romney was “shellshocked” as he came to terms with his loss. Ironic, considering “shellshocked” is a military term and he’s never been in the […] more

Things You Can Be Sure Mitt Romney Is
Doing At This Very Moment

  Hanging with his homies.   Reading The Audacity of Hope.   Returning all of the furniture he bought for the Oval Office. From Ikea.   Shooting dice on the corner.   At a Bruce Springsteen concert. With Gov. Chris Christie.   Listening to the original Broadway cast recording of Book of Mormon on his […] more

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