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Oprah’s Book Club Is Back…With Some Major Changes

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The Changes:

All books must be purchased from Ms. Winfrey
and all profits go to Oprah, as she tries to make up
for the millions she’s lost from her network, OWN.


All books must be read on The Oprah,
her version of The Kindle.
The three major differences between the two:
1. Her version has tape over the word Kindle,
with Oprah written on it
2.It costs $100 more than a real Kindle
3. She keeps all the money from sales


Because most people either don’t get OWN or
can’t find it on their TV,
Oprah will now host her book club in her home.
Of course space is limited, considering her living room
only holds 10,000 people.


If Ms. Winfrey or her BFF Gayle King write a book,
it will automatically be featured.


If Steadman writes a book it might be featured.
But most likely won’t.


Coffee table books will now be part of the mix.
One already under consideration is
A Photographic History of Gouda .


To avoid another James Frey/A Million Little Pieces controversy
all books will be gone over with a fine tooth comb
(once it arrives in the mail from Amazon)
and all authors will be required to receive
a TSA pat down.


Books On Tape will also be included:
Coming up in August the featured book
will be Octomom: An Unauthorized Biography,
as read by James Earl Jones.


Look for the selections to be more mainstream.
Case in point: The first book will be
Tracy Morgan’s translation of  Anna Karenina.



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