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Last-Minute Voting Tips: Obama-Romney 2012

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If you live in NY or NJ,
make sure you are on the line to vote…
not the line for gas.


When you get in the booth, ask yourself
“What would Trump do?”
Then do the opposite.


Just plain fat?
Ask for one of the new super-size voting booths.


How can you tell if a voting machine is legit?
Make sure it says “Manufactured by Tagg Romney, Inc.


Make voting fun…
When you’re in the voting booth,
pretend it’s a time machine taking you back in time.
(If you’re a woman and voting for Romney you won’t be pretending.)


Have elderly neighbors?
See if they need a ride to vote.
But only take them if they are planning to vote
for the same candidate you are.


Don’t care who wins?
Have no intention on voting?
It is now legal to sell your vote
on eBay or craigslist.


There is no dress code to vote.
Like bars at the beach, the unofficial non-policy is:
No shirt, no shoes, no worries.


Parents: Take your young kids with you to vote.
It’s never to early to teach them about cynicism and disappointment.



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