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If O.J. Simpson Were on Twitter Back In The Day

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“Went shopping today and bought a pair of gloves.
Problem is they don’t fit…they’re too small.
Maybe I’ll keep them anyway.”

“I’m no brain surgeon, but that guy living
in my guest house, Kato, is a real idiot.”

“I’m learning how to cook. Can anyone out there
recommend a really good knife?”

“Judge Ito is annoying. Every day he brings in
sports memorabilia for me to sign.”

“Can anyone recommend a laundry detergent
that will get out nasty stains?”

“One thing I WILL admit: I have no idea
what the hell “DNA” stands for”

“I wasn’t trying to flee in my Bronco.
I was rushing home to see the end of
the Knicks-Rockets playoff game.”

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