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News from Planet Earth…the Laughingstock of the Universe

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ACTUAL HEADLINES/ACTUAL INSANITY (just from the last couple of days)

* click on stories for full articles

“Amish Buggy Drag Race Results in Accident, Ticket” (Still not sure if this is a real story…or the plot of the next “Fast & Furious” movie)

“U.K. Toddler, 3, Treated for Alcoholism” (What’s so wrong with a kid playing Xbox and drinking a couple of beers?)

“Thailand’s Got Talent Contestant Reveals Mid-Song She’s A He” (Hopefully this will encourage Ryan Seacrest to finally admit that he’s a she)

“Coming Soon: Gas Station for Satellites” (Job I wouldn’t want: the guy who works there  pumping gas and selling Slim Jims)

“NASA May Move Space Junk With Lasers” (If only Fred Sanford were alive to see his dream come true)

“Tufts President Ends Annual Naked Quad Run” (Does that mean the Tufts President came in last in the run?)

“Man Sets Motel Room Fire Because Satan Lived There” (This guy is crazy. Everyone knows Satan lives in a mansion in Florida, and actually has a last name: “Limbaugh”.

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