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News From Planet Earth…The Laughingstock Of The Universe

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ACTUAL HEADLINES/ACTUAL INSANITY (just from the last couple of days)

* click on stories for full articles

The World’s First Bacon Perfume (Perfect… if a woman is trying to attract a fat slob)

Honeymooning Couple Survives 6 Natural Disasters (That DOES NOT include what happened on their wedding night)

Couple Walking 2,500 Miles To Their Wedding (That’s going to be way too long of a time for the guests to have to sing “Here Comes The Bride!”)

Italy Digs Up Mona Lisa’s Remains (How does a painting have remains?)

Dad Fined For Tattooing 3-Year-Old-Son (In fairness to the dad, it was a “Dora The Explorer” tattoo)

Man Blows Nose, Goes To Jail (This guy has no luck. He’s already been arrested twice for yawning)

Ohio Man Cited For Barking At Dog (So, I need to remember this: Bark at a dog=Ticket/Blow your nose=Jail)

Survey Confirms That Teens Love Apple Products (The study also confirmed the earth is round)

Woman Gets Indefinite Jury Duty For Racist Remarks (Indefinite jury duty? That’s ALMOST as bad as having to sit through Charlie Sheen’s live show)

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