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News From Planet Earth…The Laughingstock Of The Universe

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ACTUAL HEADLINES/ACTUAL INSANITY (just from the last couple of days)

* click on stories for full articles

Boy, 3, Tips Scales At 132 Pounds (He’s from China, but moving to the U.S. so he doesn’t stand out)

Super Glue Inventor Dies at 94 (Fun Fact: His other invention, “Super Tape”, bombed)

Man Super Glues Tiny Hat To His Head (In frustration, he kills the inventor of Super Glue)

Blind Date Couple Discover They’re  Siblings (One word: Awkward!!)

Girl, 12, Gives Birth On School Trip (For once, a class trip that isn’t boring)

Oprah to Trump: Let Me Give You A Makeover (The woman is a talk show host…not a miracle worker)

Paris Hilton: I’ve Achieved All My Career Goals (Sex tape? Check/Carry a little dog around? Check/Done)

Woman Can’t Close Her Eyes After Bungled Plastic Surgery (How will she make a wish before blowing out her birthday candles?)

Obama Signs Secret Libyan Order Authorizing Support For Rebels (If  it’s “secret”, why do I…and now you.. know about it ?)

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