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News From Planet Earth…The Laughingstock Of The Universe

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ACTUAL HEADLINES/ACTUAL INSANITY (just from the last couple of days)

* click on stories for full articles

“Man Jailed For Showing Up Drunk, And With Beer, To DWI Hearing” (Hey, at least he showed  up!)

“Ferry Workers Fight to Keep “Vomit Pay” (That’s just unreasonable. It’s part of their job. This is the kind of story that makes me want to throw up)

“Bride Arrested After Reception Brawl” (Advice to the groom: Let her control the remote at all times…and never talk back)

“Feds: Fat Americans Need More Space On Buses” (Just buses?… How about “They need more space EVERYWHERE!!”)

“Madoff Family’s New Gig: High-End Disaster Planning (I don’t know about you, but this high-end disaster planning business sounds like a Ponzi scheme to me)

“Elizabeth Taylor Outlives Her NY Times Obituary Writer” (I want to know who writes the obituary of an obituary writer?)

“92-Year-Old Shoots Neighbor’s House After He Refuses to Kiss Her” (See next story)

“Yes, Sex Can Kill You, U.S. Study Shows” (See previous story)

“Marijuana Grew Like Weeds In 1950’s Brooklyn” (Damn! I missed by one decade)

“Mother Gives Daughter, 8, Botox” (The law specifically says you have to be able to spell the word “Botox”, before you can use it.)

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