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News from Planet Earth…the Laughingstock of the Universe

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ACTUAL HEADLINES/ACTUAL INSANITY (just from the last couple of days)… 

* click on stories for full articles

Woman Who Claims World’s Largest Breasts in a Coma After  Suicide Attempt (Supposedly she tried to smother herself, but what could she have possibly used?)

Newest Version of Monopoly Contains No Money (Maybe because there are no houses either…they’ve all been foreclosed on)

Worker Dies in Cubicle, Not Found For A Day (Can you imagine how bad it smelled in that office BEFORE she died, for no one to have noticed?)

Glenn Beck: Don’t Use Google, They Are in Cahoots With the Government (Don’t watch Glenn Beck, he’s in cahoots with the Devil)

IBM Computer Trounces Man on “Jeopardy” (Speaking of Glenn Beck, to make it fair, they should have dumbed down the computer by making it watch his show for a week)

Canadian Justin Bieber: I Wouldn’t Become A U.S. Citizen  Because of Your Health Care Mess (Finally, some good comes out of  our embarrassing health care situation)


Cure for Baldness Discovered by Accident? (Hey, bald guys, don’t get your hopes up…the study was on mice. Everything, it seems, works on mice…except glue traps)


Amish Man Accused of Running a Ponzi Scheme (Almost all of his victims were Amish, so at least they didn’t have to worr
y about not having the money to pay their electrical bills)


 






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