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My Predictions On The New 3 Stooges Movie… and More “Sets of 3”

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Predictions on the New Three Stooges Movie:
1. Someone will get poked in the eye
2. Someone else will get poke in the eye
3. Hilarity will ensue


Why You Shouldn’t See Titanic-3D:
1. That damn Celine Dion song
2. The 3D is so good 17 audience members drowned already
3. It ends the same way as the original


How The Dry Cleaning Process Works:
1. Bring in a $35 shirt
2. They do something mysterious with chemicals (I think) to clean it.
3. Pay them $40


Even More Mysterious Than Dry Cleaning:
1. Where car salespeople go when they “talk to their manager.”
2. That bakery on the corner that’s been open for 35 years, yet you’ve never seen one person walk in.
3. How George W. was elected President…twice


How The Facebook Purchase of Instagram Happened:
1. Facebook “liked” Instagram, as in “really liked”
2. They wrote a check for $1-billion
3. The end


Results of Having The Warmest March Ever:
1. No opportunity for people to show off their stylish (ugly) new boots
2. Salt normally used for snow donated to soup kitchens
3. With no snow, local news scrambles to find stories to scare people


Re-Worked Classics From The Just-Announced New Stones Album:
1. Start Me Up (No, Really…Start Me Up)
2. Gimme Shelter (And Medication For Gout)
2. Time Isn’t On My Side


Celebrities Who Should Act Their Age:
1. Madonna
2. Demi Moore
3. Betty White


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