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My Final Thoughts On Manti Te’o (For Now)

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This just in…
Manti Te’o’s doctors say his football career is over,
citing vision problems caused when
the wool was pulled over his eyes.


I’m at the Inauguration in D.C.
thanks to the generosity of
my friend Manti Te’o,
who got two tickets
but suddenly only needed one.


It would only be fitting for Manti Te’o
to give an exclusive interview
to a fake newspaper like the Onion.
Or the New York Post.


This just in…
Manti Te’o to give his first TV interview
to Harvey the rabbit from the movie Harvey.


Saw Manti Te’o last night at a karaoke bar
singing the Zombies’ “She’s Not There.”



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