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Mitt Romney’s Uncensored Tweets From The Morning After

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Attention all bosses who threatened
to fire their workers if I lost:
Don’t do it!!
Instead, let me do it.

 

Ann promised me a special surprise
if I won. (wink, wink)
Darn!
And I wanted a new polo pony so bad.

 

I can’t believe I lost to a Muslim
with no birth certificate.

 

The last time I was this angry was when
I bought a company and it somehow made money
and everyone kept their jobs.

 

To heck with Gov. Christie.
I hope all the Dunkin Donuts
in his town burn down.

 

I can’t believe I lost to a black guy.

 

Look out America:
By 2016 I will have enough grandchildren
of voting age to guarantee victory.

 

Just told Tagg to sell that
flippin’ voting machine company.

 

I can’t believe I lost to a Democrat.

 

I know a lot of those other people lost their homes,
blah, blah, blah during Hurricane Sandy.
But if you think of it, I’m the one that lost the most from that storm.

 

According to my religion,
the word “tweet” is a curse,
so I call them “Gosh-isms.”

 

One positive from losing:
Now I can say what I really think out loud.

 


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