Random Friday: The $1,000 Pizza, J-Lo’s Boyfriend Gets A Time Out, Mike Tyson On Broadway and More
|June 22, 2012||Posted by billyrob under pop culture||
Never saw it before, but I had to steal the magazine, OK! USA from the doctor’s office.
Had to. And here’s why:
Thanks to the cover, we learn the following about Jessica Simpson:
“She’s lost 20 pounds already”
(Did they weigh her or did she call them with her happy news?)
“How she’s using baby Maxwell in her workouts” (Call child services STAT)
“Her easy tips can work for you, too!”
(But first you need 6 nannies, 3 chefs and
millions in home workout equipment and clothes)
Mike Tyson’s one-man show is coming to Broadway.
The show’s big finale has Tyson the thespian reciting Shakespeare:
“Friends, Romans, Countrymen…let me bite your ears.”
The Miami Heat blah, blah, blah.
Texas Rangers announcer Dave Barnett will undergo an evaluation
and miss at least two games after he said a runner was
on “fifth” base after a “botched robbery.”
Friends say Barnett probably had “fifth base” on his mind
because he had been to an orgy the night before.
A man in Ohio is accused of stealing stolen hundreds of dollars
in peanut butter cups from a gas station store
(Disgusting!! I would never eat food from a gas station)
A NYC restaurant has a $1,000 pizza with caviar on its menu.
(I just ordered one and hope delivery takes more than a half-hour
so I get it for free)
Starbucks plans to open tea-only shops.
(Still to be determined: What confusing method they plan to use to distinguish cup sizes)
Headline Of The Week:
Angelina Jolie’s Alleged Cousin Claims He Was Sent By The Pope To Stop Brad Pitt From Becoming A Scientologist
(This is real…I found it on Huffington Post)
This Just In From OK! Magazine:
Jennifer Lopez Cuts Off Boy Toy Caspar Smart’s
Again, where do they come up with the figure 10-thousand? A psychic?
Wouldn’t you love to be a fly on the wall on Fridays, as he spends the entire day dropping hints that his allowance is due.
What’s next, she won’t let him get anything the next time the ice cream guy comes down their block?