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LOS ANGELES — In its most strategically significant push yet into the hardware business, Microsoft, on Monday unveiled a tablet computer called Surface that is intended to challenge Apple’s iPad.
According to a Microsoft’s spokesman
“You want a camera, buy a camera.”
A breakthrough in technology allows you
to actually make withdrawals from your bank.
One catch: They have not figured out how to do bills yet,
so for now you can only get your money in coins.
Right now the only apps available in App-y, their app store, are Angry Birds and an app that makes fart sounds.
18 hours: If you don’t use the damn thing at all.
45 minutes: If you do.
GPS will be available soon,
but right now they are working out the bugs
after 3 cars wound up in a river
and 1 went through a store window during testing.
Includes Microsoft’s version of Siri.
It’s called Selma, an older Jewish woman
who not only answers your questions,
but gives you advice as well.
“It’s going to get windy later, take a sweater.”
“Tell your son to break up with that tramp of a girlfriend.”
“Get a good night’s sleep, you have work in the morning.”