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If “Craigslist” Ads Were Truthful

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I’m an ugly woman, proficient at Photoshop (see picture) and am interested in ANY man.

For sale: A stained, old couch that even the Salvation Army rejected.
Suckers welcome!

I’m a creepy guy looking for a hot assistant I can fondle and/or grope.
No experience necessary.

Situated Wanted: I am an experienced nanny who will text while your kids are swimming, steal money out of your wallet, drink your alcohol and have my boyfriend come over while you are out. Also, I hate kids.

I am a prostitute looking for clients.
No cops, no monkey business.

Rat-infested apartment for rent in the worst neighborhood in Brooklyn.
It’s listed as a one-bedroom, but any idiot can see it barely qualifies as a studio.”

Job Opening for A Computer Tech: This job has already been filled but legally we have to post it. To save you some time, all of  the positions on this page are spoken for. And if they were open, fact is you are not qualified. Not even close.


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