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Highlights of the Tim Tebow Press Conference

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“Mark Sanchez and I have a great relationship.
Probably because our only interaction
is playing Words With Friends.


“All jokes aside, the buildings here really are tall.”


“Why isn’t our owner, coach and GM here, you ask?
They are in Switzerland trying to convince Mark Sanchez
to come back to the U.S.”


“I will play any position the coach
wants me to play, except center.
I don’t mind touching another man’s butt,
but I do mind if someone touches mine.”


“I’m not perfect.
Last week I held the hand of a woman.”


“The New York press is the greatest group of people I have ever met. I don’t know how anyone can say otherwise.”


“I don’t curse.
Although I do admit I once said “darn.”
Darn, I said it again.”


“Think of it this way:
When Mark Sanchez is out late partying
the night before a game, I’ll be home
reading the bible, rested and ready to play.”


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