Highlights of the Jewish Baseball League (1932-1933)
|April 5, 2012||Posted by billyrob under pop culture||
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Baseball is back! And so is this post from last year…because it’s funny and I’m lazy.
- The entire season is cancelled when 75% of the players’ moms refuse to sign the league consent form, fearing injury to their little princes.
- The league tries again, with one difference: No consent forms.
- Opening day: Mordechai Schwartz hits 3 home runs and the Brooklyn Nebishes celebrate by dumping a barrel full of Dr. Brown’s Cel-Ray Soda on him.
- 3 Boston Bialys players are suspended for fighting in the lockerroom. The disagreement was over the best route to take to the ballpark.
- Record crowds for the league-wide “Free Dreidel” Weekend.
- The stadium in Philadelphia collapses. Luckily there are no injuries. To this day the big mystery is still why a stadium built by Jews would collapse.
- Sliding is prohibited. The official reason from the commissioner: “Why dirty up a good pair of pants?”
- Players are required to bring a sweater to every game, just in case it “gets a little chilly.”
- Superstar center fielder Irving Rothman runs into the outfield wall while trying to catch a ball and is knocked unconscious. The stadium announcer asks if there’s a doctor in the house and half the stadium comes onto the field to help. Rothman regains consciousness and announces to the crowd he plans to sue the company that made the fence…and the other half of the stadium rushes onto the field.