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Headlines…One Year From Now

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The Mets announce a new plan to raise money for the team:
Find 200-million people willing to invest $1 each.

The average height of an American homeless person skyrockets
as the NBA strike continues.

In a landmark ruling, a judge says Sarah Jessica Parker
must stand trial if she makes one more bad movie.

Sarah Palin doesn’t fair very well in the Presidential Debates.
When she’s asked about social security, she tells the moderator
“You told me that wasn’t going to be on the test…I mean debate.”

Regis, depressed because he’s not on TV anymore,
spends his days going from store to store on the Upper West Side
so he can see himself on their security cameras.

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