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If George Washington Were On Twitter Back In The Day

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“Enough with that stupid cherry tree story. And btw, I hate cherries”

“My wife Martha may be ugly, but she’s a tiger in the bedroom”

“Fun Fact: The picture of me on the quarter is the same one I have on my driver’s license”

“Crossing the Delaware was a great success …but not as memorable as the trip back, when I got to show off my water skiing  skills”

“People of Twitter: Stop calling me “The father of our country”. You know how many paternity suits I have against me because of that nickname?”

“Does anyone know of a good dentist? My wooden teeth are killing me”

“What’s up with that Justin Bieber kid?”

“If you’d like to sign up to serve in the Revolutionary War, hit me up on Facebook”

 


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