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Fictional Characters Reveal Their New Year’s Resolutions

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Clark Kent:
“Finally finish up work on “The Daily Planet” iPad App.”

Bruce Wayne:
“Do everything in my power to stop the foreclosure of Wayne Manor.”

Tony Soprano:
“Move out of New Jersey.
The toll hikes are killing me.
And Rex Ryan is an embarrassment.”

Rhett Buttler:
“Start giving a damn.”

“Sue the makers of “True Blood” and “Twilight.”

Jack Bauer:
“Find a hobby, maybe take some classes or volunteer.
It’s hard going from 24-hour workdays to no work at all.”

Homer Simpson:
“Confess to Marge that I had an affair with Lois Griffin.”
(Did somebody say “spinoff?”)

Harry Potter:
“Convince that J.K. Rowling chick to write another book about me.
I’m not ready to give up the limelight.”

Forrest Gump:
“Be nicer to the idiots who come up to me and say “Run, Forrest, Run”

“Give in to my doctor and finally have laser-bolt removal surgery.”

“Spend more quality time with Jane and Cheetah.”

James Bond:
“Try a martini that’s stirred, not shaken.”


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