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Exclusive: Secret Details of The NBA Agreement

 

In a marketing deal with Starbucks…
The center position will now be called “Venti.”
Forwards are “Grande.”
And guards are “Short.”
Also, halftime will now be referred to as a “Starbucks Coffee Break.”

Ryan Seacrest will host every regular season NBA  game.

Instead of a trophy, the league MVP gets his choice of Kardashian sisters.

Players cannot be paid more than $100-million per season.

Occupy Wall Street demonstrators will be allowed in the 3-second lane.

Instead of his name, the back of Lebron James’ uniform will say “Idiot.”

Players can only wear sneakers purchased at DSW Shoe Warehouse.

Jump Ball will be replaced by Rock, Paper, Scissors.

Two Words: “Shirts” and “Skins.”

 Instead of rap and heavy metal, show tunes will be played during warmups.


 

 

 


			

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