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Exclusive: Details of Brad and Angelina’s Marriage Contract

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We both agree to continue having/adopting kids until we have enough subs for our weekly 5 on 5 family basketball game.
(As it stands now the kids are constantly whining because they have to play the entire 48 minutes.)


Angelina will continue to address Brad as “Two-time winner of People Magazine’s Sexiest Man Alive.”
Brad will continue to address Angelina as “#1 on People Magazine’s Most Beautiful People List for 2006.”


We will adopt another child next year. As in the past, we will chose a country to adopt from by having Angelina throw a dart at a map while blindfolded. When that is done she is required to keep the blindfold on and get freaky with Brad.


Brad is forbidden from scaring the kids by telling them he is really Benjamin Button. He is also required to quickly change the subject if one of the kids asks “Daddy, who’s Jennifer Aniston?”


We will both make a concerted effort to memorize the names of our kids.


If any of our kids say the word “Brangelina” they will immediately be sent back to their country of origin.
No exceptions.


During arguments, Brad will no longer be allowed to refer to “Billy Bob and that whole blood vial thing” and Angelina can no longer refer to Jennifer Aniston as “That whore who was #1 on People Magazine’s Most Beautiful People List for 2004.”


Also off limits during an argument…no mention of the movies we starred in that bombed. They include “Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow”, “Life Or Something Like It”, “Confessions of a Dangerous Mind” and “Meet Joe Black.”
Furthermore, for obvious reasons, there will be no mention of Brad’s appearances on the TV show “Friends.”


Nothing will be scheduled for Wednesday nights, as that is the night of our bowling league.




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