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The Monday After The Thanksgiving Weekend

DON’T Do These Things Today,
The Monday After The Thanksgiving Weekend

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DON’T weigh yourself.
(Seriously, DON’T weigh yourself.)

 

DON’T tell everyone you see every detail
of the horrific explosion you caused trying to fry a turkey.

 

DON’T go out to lunch and joke to the waiter
“I’m in the mood for turkey!!”

 

DON’T brag about all of the great bargains you almost got on Black Friday.

 

DON’T use the word tryptophan.

 

DON’T tell everyone everything you made
with your Thanksgiving leftovers.

 

DON’T embarrass yourself by proclaiming that because of Thanksgiving you are now a vegetarian, only to have a cheeseburger tomorrow.

 

DON’T say “I’m still stuffed from Thanksgiving.”

 

DON’T unbutton your pants on the subway and say
“I’m still stuffed from Thanksgiving.”

 



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