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Details Of The Debt Ceiling Bill

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The government was going to take every America’s first born child,
but then realized how ridiculously expensive it is to raise them and decided against it.

Government service cuts across the board.
Unlimited budget for the war.

To save money, all I.R.S. agents have been let go.
If you are audited, you are required to do it yourself.

The proposed tanning salon tax was not included in the bill.
(No explanation given on why)

All Americans who own their own island get a tax cut.

If you have ever been married or had an affair with Newt Gingrich
you do not have to pay any taxes to make up for your suffering.

You will only be taxed on cosmetic surgery if your last name is “Kardashian.”

The Postal Service has let go of all workers who were goofing off on the job.
Somehow it’s running just fine with the remaining 17 workers.

I don’t understand what it has to do with the debt ceiling,
but the bill requires Apple to give every Senator and Congressman a free iPad.

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