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Consulting Your Magic 8-Ball And Other New Tax Laws (Sort Of) Explained

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Have you done your taxes yet?
Like every year, there are a lot of new rules,
so I’ve taken the time to break it all down for you.

Hope this helps…


Doing your taxes yourself and not sure if something is deductible or not?
Consulting your Magic 8 Ball is now allowed.
In fact, it is encouraged.

 

Are you a Mets season ticket holder?
You can claim the cost as a loss for at least the next 10 years.

 

Does your company make that pink slime they put in school lunches? That’s gross income.

 

Think you are paying way too much in taxes?
Ask your accountant for the “Romney Treatment.”

 

Went to the movies and hated every minute?
The cost of your ticket is now deductible under the new
Adam Sandler Tax Credit.

 

Deducting your NYC cab ride is no longer allowed.
They have been reclassified, and instead of “transportation” they are now in the same category as “amusement park rides.”

 

Are you unemployed and sit around the house playing Angry Birds?
You will now be penalized based on the number of levels you have beaten.

 

If you put all your savings under your mattress, rather than in the bank, you will receive the same penalty as when you rip the tag off your mattress.

 

Please note new occupation choices have been added
including hobo, snake charmer and light bulb inspector.

 

Taking anti-depression medication since Regis retired?
That’s not deductible.


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