Christopher Columbus: Secretly Jewish?
|May 23, 2012||Posted by billyrob under pop culture||
Christopher Columbus was an Italian explorer from Genoa, right? Not according to a recent round of scholarship, which portrays him as secretly Jewish and seeking a new land for his people during the Spanish Inquisition, CNN reports. Evidence suggests that Columbus was a “Marrano,” meaning he secretly practiced Judaism to avoid persecution and a 1492 decree that banished all Jews from Spain.
CNN did their research…here’s the evidence I uncovered:
The actual names of his ships were:
The Esther,The Sylvia and The Miriam Rosenbaum.
And he got them on sale at the Old World Boat Emporium:
Buy 2 ships at regular price/get one free.
Throughout the trip he never stopped complaining about how seasick he was.
Complained about the food, too, and was constantly asking his deckhands
if they had caught any gefilte fish yet.
Complained when they finally caught some and they were all out of horseradish.
The whole thing almost didn’t happen when his brother-in-law, the lawyer,
angered King Ferdinand and Queen Isabella over the ridiculous amount
of changes he made to the contract they had drawn up.
When he told his relatives all about his journey to the New World his Uncle Moishe insisted he knew of a faster way to get there.
Had to abort his first voyage when he realized
he forgot the lunch his wife had packed him.
Had to abort his second voyage when he realized he had worn his good shoes.