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For the second year in a row, Natalie Portman wins an Academy Award. This times it’s for her portrayal of a troubled actress who drinks, gets high, steals, goes to rehab, but never actually acts. “The Lindsay Lohan Story” also wins the Oscar for best cinematography.
Charlie Sheen redeems himself and becomes a national hero when he saves 3 babies from a burning building. He then returns to network TV, starring in a spinoff of “Two and A Half Men” called ”One Idiot”.
Gilbert Gottfried is hired back as the voice of the Aflac duck after he saves 2 babies from a burning building.
Fire officials investigate the recent pattern of celebrities saving babies from burning buildings.
The latest iPod hits stores. (photo right) It’s so small that you need special laser eye surgery to actually see it. Operations are free at all participating Apple stores. The iPad 3 runs on 8 AA batteries and lasts for 2 hours. (Apple recommends Duracell Batteries)
“Avatar 2’ in 3D is released… and as expected a record number of movie-goers head to theatres, get nauseous and throw up.
Anderson Cooper comes clean and finally admits what all of America already knew: He’s not old…he’s just prematurely gray.
To reach an older audience, MTV, with the help of some technical wizardry, adds Granny Clampett to the cast of “Jersey Shore”.
Oprah tweets that she hates being retired… then jokes she now loves to play bingo. Within 45-minutes, bingo becomes the biggest craze in America.